Mood

[ariadnem]

These past few days have sucked more than I could have imagined.  I should be more than happy; I mean, I'm back to work, I finally "finished" my website, I got in Nanowriye, my hubby as wonderful as always, things are working out perfectly...*sigh*

I've got this sensations within...I don't know; something really wrong must be happening inside.  I feel all this excitement about doing some new stuff; and playing and all that, but again, when I sit here in the pc...my mind goes blank...I hate it, especially now...it's worst than ever before.  However, I go to my classroom and I forget about everything...my Sanctuary, that's my classroom, but it has to be over...everything has to be over...eventually.

Now...writing has become something more than just a hobby.  I mean, I don't pretend to become a professional writer.  My knowledge in the field is really limited (one semester of English Literature in College), but I so want to learn how to do it.  I want to improve more and more eveery day but it seems I'm not even getting closer to doing that. *sigh*

I know, Vane, I know...still, I just can't believe it...

I've received all sort of critics about my stories.  A lot of them have been really nice, some others...I'm hopeless, I always end up sobbing, wondering what is it that I have done wrong.  I've written things that I don't even check...I just put them on paper, then I start working on them.  I always double check, sometimes, I just don't...still, no matter if I try to make it fine or not...all those reviews affect me.  I try to take them as, "ok, see what's the problem, and solve it" sometimes I don't even have a clue about it...anyhow...everything comes and goes...so will I. It's just..painful to realise that my mistakes seem to be forever unforgiven *sigh*

My Nanowriye session has begun.  I've been thinking about uploading it here...still don't know.  We'll see.

I'll keep writing.  Whoever wants to say anything about it, well, go to my website and give me some feedback.  I'll take it all, I always do.  Besides, who says learning is easy ??? (well, I do, when I say that to my students.)

Now, on better news I PASSED MY ADVANCED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ohh yes, I screw it a lot, but hey! the ones who know say I HAVE PASSED!!!!!!! and that's good news, right?

 

Comments

[muinteor.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean when you mention all these reasons to be cheerful, and yet are not... but it’s only natural, and I don’t think that anything is wrong inside of you at all.

When you don’t feel inspired sitting in front of your computer, (and who hasn’t felt that way?) try doing something else instead, and most importantly, try smiling.

A smile is a wonderful thing. Have you ever walked along the street with a sad feeling in your heart, and then noticed that someone coming towards you is smiling?

I love when that happens, and after the person has passed, you get to thinking that you have reasons to be cheerful too. There’s always something to be cheerful about.

It sounds like everything is going your way, my friend, at work, at home, with your English, and with your writing.

Congratulations on passing that test, I knew you would, of course. We both did, I think.

Congratulations on taking up the immense challenge of writing a novel, and don’t worry about the reviews. Don’t take them to heart.

I like your use of the word feedback. I prefer that to reviews. Feedback implies dialogue, but a review is a monologue.

Bad reviews are like little clouds in the sky. Don’t let them cumulate, blow them away with a kiss, and don’t forget to smile.

You keep writing, and don’t you stop, but remember to have fun doing it. It’s more than a hobby, as you say, and in my opinion it’s a gift. You have that gift.

I’m so glad to hear that your classroom is a sanctuary for you, and don’t think about how things will end up, or when they will. You’re right, of course, we have to look to the future, and as they say, all good things come to an end, but what they don’t say is that all bad things do too.

You’ll spend plenty of time in that sanctuary of yours, and there’ll be plenty of moments when your mind doesn’t go blank after you sit in front of the computer. You’ll write plenty of stories, and get plenty of reviews, good ones and bad ones.

There’s a long, long way to go before any of these things are even nearly over. When you’re looking at the new day’s dawn, try not to think that dusk will come later. Just try to enjoy the morning.

This has gone on for too long. I am kind of longwinded, aren’t I?

See you soon.

Keep the faith.

By the way, I loved reading the results of those quizzes you’ve been doing. Especially that Ultimate personality test. Wow.

[ariadnem.livejournal.com]

Mo Cara...what would I ever do without you?

I love you, my dearest. You put up with me. You have to take it all and listen well, and try to help me out. I'll never have enough words to show you my appreciation. But I do love you, with all my being.