grieving

[ariadnem]

......



I'm sorry... I know Pollux and Zelha and Marin have said very beautiful things about my friend today...I can't do so now.

My heart is grieving...I can't help the void I'm feeling in my chest right now. I understand everything about him being in a better place now. I know his pain is gone and he is not suffering anymore...yet, I can't help it.

I'm selfish, I know...but I can't help it.

Canek was my friend, my Kitten. He became part of me more than a year ago and I it's painful to me to ackowledge he's really gone. It's not fair! It's not because now he had more reasons than ever to be alive! He had his wife at his side...and Naidee...my little one is so pretty and he was "teaching" her how to type...

I know why he's gone...I won't ask it...but it's not fair.

I can't cry enough as to show how much I loved him. He was my friend! I used to spent entire evenings and nights with him...we talked and talked non stop and he would tell me he loved me and I would say so myself..."nadixieli" he taught me to say it in his language, zapoteco...He used to call me "Cuxta" which means 'life'..he used to say I'd given him life...

God damn it..I miss him so much now...especially 'coz I know he won't talk to me anymore...damn...

I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I have responded every comment. I have even commented to others' lj's. I spoke to his wife today...Marce...you know where to find me...you can contact me and now that I have a way to reach you I will. Vamp and I are here to help you out with everything you need.

Now I don't even have more words...*sniff*

Comments

[ariadnem.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

Thank you, darling.