(no subject)

[ariadnem]

I thought i'd gone through all this and that the issue was over, yet I realise is not like that. And I hate the feeling of it...I never thought I was going to feel blue about all this again.

I don't belong anywhere in Internet. It feels horrible to know you don't belong to a place or to something. it's even worst when everything you do is simply not good enough. Or you simply don't d what others do.

I getting tired of all this; of these feelings *sigh* of everything.

There are people who have it all before their faces yet they don't see it. I wonder how many times something like this has happened to me before or will happen

anyhow...I better shut, don't want this to end up being bluer than I want it to be...

Comments

[luxshine.livejournal.com]

Ook.

What is it with today? the "All of Ada's friends get depressed on the net" day? Ari, I'm going to tell you a few truths here, and you know that I can be way too blunt, so please, don't get mad.

First of all. I went to read the other post you mentioned to sagakure about your bad experience.

Please! ARe you letting HER and her bs control your life? The one who would be willing to lick your frigging ass just because she thought you could get her near the 'percieved' BNFs of the Saint Seiya Fandom? We're talking about the same her who would change fandoms in a second if we told her that the "thing" to get "in" the Saint Seiya fandom is to write Indiana Jones/StS crossovers, her opinion shouldn't weight on you like that.

Second. "Belonging" to an Internet cliqué is not that important. "Getting" into a fandom nowadays is worse than getting into a soriority. It's not only enjoying the series, you also have to be a "good fan" and you know what? It's not worth it. It's not worth the effort and it's not worth the depression.

You have friends here in LJ, and I only have to see the way your posts get answers to see that. You have friends in the msn chats, and you can't tell me you don't as that's how we met. I'm pretty sure you also have friends in forums and such. SO don't worry that much.

I've found that the fandoms where it's worth belonging are the ones in which you can just say "Hi, my name is... and I like this series" and not worry about more than enjoying yourself. If you don't enjoy yourself, don't bother.

So, smile, cheer up and don't get blue. AS you say, people often don't see what they have in their faces. You do belong somewhere in the Internet, it's only that you haven't noticed it yet.

[ariadnem.livejournal.com]

Why would I get mad???

"THAT" post...I mentioned it to Sagakure 'coz my all rant began b/c of her. She brought unease to my life & to others' and that unease in terms of fandoms and stuff is what I'm dealing with. Others'...mine...that bitch is past, one I don´t want back. EVER. And yes, we were talking about the same a******.

She doesn't weight on me like that anymore. My systems ignores her naturalle, but I've still have to come to terms with some stuff like the belonging thing.

I've said it before, I'm in the middle of fandoms; Spanish, English even French, even though I'm not planning on writing in my 3rd language.

Belonging is not worth you say, I agree, but that belonging is also given to me by my 'friends'. Aurea said in her LJ she felt behind. I guess that's what triggered my feeling. It's hard to feel behind, it's even worst when you look around and see yourself alone. No one in front or behind. As I've said also on this post, I'm not sure how many times things have been before me and I haven't seen the,. This is clearly one of those.

Maybe now, me and my paranoia would see more people around..who knows?