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I thought i'd gone through all this and that the issue was over, yet I realise is not like that. And I hate the feeling of it...I never thought I was going to feel blue about all this again.
I don't belong anywhere in Internet. It feels horrible to know you don't belong to a place or to something. it's even worst when everything you do is simply not good enough. Or you simply don't d what others do.
I getting tired of all this; of these feelings *sigh* of everything.
There are people who have it all before their faces yet they don't see it. I wonder how many times something like this has happened to me before or will happen
anyhow...I better shut, don't want this to end up being bluer than I want it to be...
I don't belong anywhere in Internet. It feels horrible to know you don't belong to a place or to something. it's even worst when everything you do is simply not good enough. Or you simply don't d what others do.
I getting tired of all this; of these feelings *sigh* of everything.
There are people who have it all before their faces yet they don't see it. I wonder how many times something like this has happened to me before or will happen
anyhow...I better shut, don't want this to end up being bluer than I want it to be...
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Uhm...if it helps at all, there's people who like you, out here on LJ.
We don't know each other much, but I know what you are talking about. I hope you feel better. ^^/
I felt like that in the past too, long time ago.
You don't need to do what the other people do to be liked. ^_^/
This might sound a bit cliche, but I mean it : just be yourself, and do what you like, and what makes you have fun. ^_~ You'll end up finding people who have similar interests. The feeling of belonging somehwere ends up coming naturally when you enjoy what you're doing and have fun. ^^
I hope it helped a bit, sorry if it didn't. I kinda suck at finding the right words to comfort someone. ^^;
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http://www.livejournal.com/users/ariadnascrp/13008.html it's here.. I mean...it happened once, and after that I feel like I'm shuned...I hate to feel like that.. and now...I better stop...really, maybe later I can give it some more thought
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Internet is such a wide and large place... It's hard to find a place where you belong. Just be yourself. Know that there are people who do care. :)
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I used to feel that I belong somewhere. I had my friends and I lost them, then I got some of them back. That was tough and I certainly didn't like that experience which btw was a consequence of that "woman's" doing. Anyhow...
I am who I am. I've got a friend who describes nme as someone caring, loving and sort of depressive. I don't tend to get blue often. I've discovered it happens to me b/c of my writing or people's indiference (whether that's towards me or stuff)
Know that there are people who do care
I'm sorry you've had to put up with me. (sorry for any future time as well.)
Thanks
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By the way, I already finished your request. It's posted at my lj. ^^U
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I'm checking your LJ right the way
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I've had many bad experiences in life too, but they also taugth me that people who envy you and insult you or try to hurt your feelings don't deserve your attention.
I know it's hard to follow advice, but I do mean that you should just be yourself and try to have fun, do the things that you like, not for anyone but because you like them, develop your writing skills as you like and all, but don't push youself into doing or not doing something because of people. People can be really mean.
If they try to hurt you, ignore them. (or defend yourself, then ignore them later, *lol*)
Sorry, like I said, I'm not very good at finding the right words, but I've been through very bad experiences too in the past (in RL and in the internet), and they have horribly marked me. But I believe that if you carry on the scars, it's like a little victory for the people who hurt you...so you gotta try to heal in order that they can't affect you anymore... Uhm, that thing about "the best revenge one can get it to become happier than those who try to hurt you". ^^
You're not shunned. Don't ever let people make you believe that. ^_~
My personnality is very similar to Saga's (with a bit of Camus for the being all closed up), so I tend to think that when people hurt me, it's kind of my fault... but that's not right. Don't let people make you believe that.
You can find a place where you'll get that feeling of belonging. ^^/
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I can put up with a lot 'till I'm fed up w/ stuff and send everything to hell. Just like I did with that b****. (sorry, after so long, I cvan't find another way of calling her)
I love writing and enjoy it greatly< more after I wrote that post I showed you yesterday. I know I have no one but myself to please, but it's always nice when someone else enjoys it.
"the best revenge one can get it to become happier than those who try to hurt you"
mmmmm...seeing from that POV...I've got my revenge, haven't I?
You can find a place where you'll get that feeling of belonging.
^^
Thank you so much, your words have really helped me.
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I tell you, the thing that can lift you up from this situation is the strength you will find in the people who really really love you,and these people are the ones who stick with you whatever happens.
And let me tell you also: your fics rock!!!!!!!! ^___^
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These friends took their chances with me, and so did i, Ana and Joe for example...God how I love them.
Then, there was this other guy who was more hurt thatn anyone else, and we started talking and kind of healed each other at first; now Canek and I have been friends for over a year and the love and friendship we have for each other grows more everyday.
vane and Elena came back to my life as well...it wasn't easy, though.
I really wouldn't know what to do w/o them in my life & that kind of scares me to death. But...we are true friends, and it won't happen ever again. At least not with them.
This woman hurt me, yes. But she's lost more than I did when I decided to get her out of my life. She didn't lose me alone, she's also lost sm other wonderful people,. and as they say, her loss was my gain.
And let me tell you also: your fics rock!!!!!!!!
thanks *blush*
Bueno...
Primeramente Ariadna, Margarita o como quiera que desees llamarte, me parece increible que le estes haciendo caso a una pobre pendeja sin vida, que aparte de no tener nada que hacer con su tiempo libre, se da el lujo de menospreciar a un ser humano por su forma de escribir.
En segundo lugar, she is not a big deal. Su alma del asesino estaba... digamos digerible.
Ada por ejepmlo no pudo pasar nisiquiera de la segunda pagina y vaya que Ada lee de todo.
No es posible que sigas sintiendote mal por eso. osea get over it.
ESO era lo que queria esa pinche vieja sin queacer: Marcarte para que te quedases traumada y que no volvieras a escribir y lo peor, queria que TU misma despreciaras tu trabajo.
SAbes que? Stop it! ya es suficiente.
TU tienes la razon y ella no.
Esa pobre estupida gano porque ya te hizo la vida miserable para siempre, mientras que TU bien podrias estar festejando que A) te deshiciste de una alimañan como ella y B) que tu puedes explorar el fandom en una manera en la que ella no.
Aqui se te quiere y se te acepta.
Deja de flajelarte, que no vas a consetguir nada con eso, solo demostrale a esa pobre pendeja que gano y que obtuvo lo que quiso.
Asi que por favor sinceramente, deja de hacerte chaquetas mentales y sigue adelante o.k?
Que los demás no somos higado picado. Apreciamos tu estancia en el fandom y quedaria un hueco grande si te vas.
Asi que animo y pintale cremas a esa estupida que no vale la pena.
Velo de esta manera, perdiste a una amiga, si. Pero ganaste muchas más de lo que esa estupida jamás ganará.
p.s
Y perdon por la franqueza y rudesa... pero ya estuvo bueno.
Re: Bueno...
Yo paso de ella, me indigesta. Es demasiado sucia y retorcida para mi gusto. *sick*
I'm over it, but as I said before, I can't lie to myself and b/c of that bitch I feel aprehensive...sometimes.
Marcarte para que te quedases traumada y que no volvieras a escribir y lo peor, queria que TU misma despreciaras tu trabajo.
mmm...traumada?? tal vez. Pero si ella en realidad buscaba que yo no escribiera era por qué? me veía caso como una amezana? yo? pero si ella tiene un séquito de lamesuelas detrás suyo que le dicen lo maravillosa que es....en fin... la cosa es que no logró que dejara de escribir, tod olo contrario;sigo intentándolo, inclusive con más ganas. ¿por qué crees que me pongo en la palestra pública al mostrar mis historias? me expongo a toda clase de críticas, tanto buenas como malas. El inglés no es mi lengua materna, sin embargo, sigo dándole porque quiero aprender. Si hay alguien a quien le debo eso es a Joe y a Vane Nt que se sientan y se toman su tiempo para leer mis historias y darme feedback y corregirme cuando es necesario.
Soy un maldito alacrán, Aurea; no me gusta estar en el spotlight, prefiero el trabajo encubierto, tras de cámaras, pero qué le voy a hacer?! estoy en la mira de todos los qu eme conocen e incluso de los que no por el solo heho de escribir y dejarlño ver y tomo cada cosa uqe me llega como es y siempre, sin importar lo que sea para mí es genial, me encanta todo eso y sabes por qué? porque aprendo.
Yo no dibujo, yo no pinto, tampoco escribo de maravilla, solo soy lo que ven y pues...por ahora, me es suficiente, ya veremos más adelante.
Y no, no desprecio mi trabajo. Sé que puede ser mejor. Ya aprendí que nunca voy a complacer a todo el mundo, lo que auns les gusta a otros no. Un detalle que para alguien es tonto, para otro tal vez no lo sea...qué le voy a hacer...enfin, pero sí que me gusta que lo que hago le agrade a otros.
A) sí, e deshice de ella (hasta el sol de hoy no me he arrepentido de haberme alejado de ella y ni crfeo que lo haga)
B) El fandom...*sigh* cualquiera que este sea.
Mis pajazos mentales me sin necesarios, Au. Tu y yo (creo) estamos en este proceso de conocernos y hacernos más amigas a medida que el tiempo pasa; yo lo estoy con todo aquel que entra en mi vida. tengo fases de autodestrucción masiva que son parte mía y como he dicho antes y en otros lugares, es mi naturaleza y ella a veces prevalece.
Esto es parte de lo que soy....
Que los demás no somos higado picado. Apreciamos tu estancia en el fandom y quedaria un hueco grande si te vas.
hgado pícado?? never! Ni siquiera se me ha pasado por la cabeza. Irme?? A Dónde??? no tengo a dónde más ir (XD)
No perdí a una amiga porque en ella jamás la tuve. Me quité un dolor que cabeza...eso sí
No problem con lo de la rudeza,it's ok.
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What is it with today? the "All of Ada's friends get depressed on the net" day? Ari, I'm going to tell you a few truths here, and you know that I can be way too blunt, so please, don't get mad.
First of all. I went to read the other post you mentioned to sagakure about your bad experience.
Please! ARe you letting HER and her bs control your life? The one who would be willing to lick your frigging ass just because she thought you could get her near the 'percieved' BNFs of the Saint Seiya Fandom? We're talking about the same her who would change fandoms in a second if we told her that the "thing" to get "in" the Saint Seiya fandom is to write Indiana Jones/StS crossovers, her opinion shouldn't weight on you like that.
Second. "Belonging" to an Internet cliqué is not that important. "Getting" into a fandom nowadays is worse than getting into a soriority. It's not only enjoying the series, you also have to be a "good fan" and you know what? It's not worth it. It's not worth the effort and it's not worth the depression.
You have friends here in LJ, and I only have to see the way your posts get answers to see that. You have friends in the msn chats, and you can't tell me you don't as that's how we met. I'm pretty sure you also have friends in forums and such. SO don't worry that much.
I've found that the fandoms where it's worth belonging are the ones in which you can just say "Hi, my name is... and I like this series" and not worry about more than enjoying yourself. If you don't enjoy yourself, don't bother.
So, smile, cheer up and don't get blue. AS you say, people often don't see what they have in their faces. You do belong somewhere in the Internet, it's only that you haven't noticed it yet.
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"THAT" post...I mentioned it to Sagakure 'coz my all rant began b/c of her. She brought unease to my life & to others' and that unease in terms of fandoms and stuff is what I'm dealing with. Others'...mine...that bitch is past, one I don´t want back. EVER. And yes, we were talking about the same a******.
She doesn't weight on me like that anymore. My systems ignores her naturalle, but I've still have to come to terms with some stuff like the belonging thing.
I've said it before, I'm in the middle of fandoms; Spanish, English even French, even though I'm not planning on writing in my 3rd language.
Belonging is not worth you say, I agree, but that belonging is also given to me by my 'friends'. Aurea said in her LJ she felt behind. I guess that's what triggered my feeling. It's hard to feel behind, it's even worst when you look around and see yourself alone. No one in front or behind. As I've said also on this post, I'm not sure how many times things have been before me and I haven't seen the,. This is clearly one of those.
Maybe now, me and my paranoia would see more people around..who knows?